


Some Sorrows Should Not Be Pushed Away

by raven4138



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Gen, Minor Female Lavellan/Solas (Dragon Age), Post-War Table Operation: Protect Clan Lavellan (Dragon Age), War Table Operation: Protect Clan Lavellan (Dragon Age) - Failure, solas is not in it but there is some implied lines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:48:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28370406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raven4138/pseuds/raven4138
Summary: Gaelowen Lavellan has lost her clan. Her family is gone. But, she will be okay. As long as she keeps moving forward to stop Corypheus, everything will be okay. Right?
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	Some Sorrows Should Not Be Pushed Away

**Author's Note:**

> I have been having feelings about my Lavellan and Cassandra and how they became close friends throughout the game. This is just a quick character exploration for the two of them figuring things out. I am not the best at narrative writing but thank you for reading!

Gaelowen looks up from the reports in front of her when she hears a gentle knock on her door. Her eyebrows furrow as she wonders who would come to her room at this hour. She told Solas to stop knocking months ago, much to his reluctance, and ordered her advisors not to disturb her for the rest of the night to catch up on paperwork.  
She sighs as she says, “Come in,” mostly curious as to whom it will be. Cassandra appears at the top of her steps, not quite looking at her yet. Gaelowen frowns and asks, “Is everything alright Cassandra? Did something happen?”

  
Cassandra finally looks up at her with a determined and concerned look and replies, “Actually, Inquisitor, that is what I wanted to ask you. Are… Are you alright?” she looks nervous as she asks, as if she were afraid of the answer Gaelowen would give.

  
“Um… Thank you for the concern Cassandra, but yes I think I am. I know it has been a rough few days but I really don’t see the need for-”

  
“Inquisitor,” Cassandra interrupted. “I heard about your clan.”

Gaelowen inhales sharply as she suddenly finds it difficult to breathe. She clenches her fist, crumpling the paper it is holding and bites her lip fighting back the tears that she had been shoving behind wall after wall since leaving the war room this afternoon. How could she be so careless? How could she trust Josephine’s “careful diplomacy act” when her clan was in such immediate danger? What had careful diplomacy gotten her in her time as Inquisitor? Why now? Why when it mattered more than any of the other decisions she made in the shem’s politicking? How could she not protect her family?

“Inquisitor?” Cassandra walked over to Gaelowen’s side and crouched down to be at eye level with her. Gaelowen was unable to look up from the report she was crushing in her hand as she felt Cassandra put a hand on her shoulder. “I know you told me that your relationship with your clan was… complicated. Family is a struggle to navigate and things are often made more difficult when you want different things.”

Gaelowen saw Cassandra's hand curl into a fist by her side as she spoke. “Cassandra…” Gaelowen choked out before sitting up straight and carefully relaxing her face to be as neutral as possible, “I don’t have time for this. Josephine and Leliana gave me a stack of reports I have to go through. I promise I am fine.” This time Cassandra took her hand and Gaelowen turned to look at her. She did not understand. She would be okay, all she needed to do was keep her head down and get her work done until they were fully prepared to go into the Arbor Wilds. The priority should be Corypheus, no matter what she felt. How much she hurt. How tired she suddenly was.

“Inquisitor it is okay to mourn. You are a person like all of us. You are not the Maker. You cannot be expected to continue on with next to no rest or respite,” Cassandra’s voice turns stern as she says, “Do not run yourself thin to the point where you cannot even complete the responsibilities you have.”

At this point, tears had begun streaming down Gaelowen’s face as she silently released some of the tension she had been holding back for months. “Why are you here Cassandra?” Gaelowen asks, as she couldn’t begin to imagine what her answer might be.

“Because I am trying to be a better friend.”

_I hope we can call each other friends, Cassandra.  
_

_I hope so, too. We still have a long road to travel, Inquisitor._ _Wherever it takes us, I am glad that you are here.  
_

Cassandra let out a gasp as Gaelowen Lavellan let down the walls she took down for no one. Despite their closeness, not even Solas had seen her in a state like the one she found herself in now, as she screamed and cried into Cassandra’s shoulder letting out months of frustration and anger for the Inquisition, and years worth of sorrow for the loss of her clan. She clung to Cassandra as her only lifeline as she drowned in the sea that she let out. And Cassandra, not expecting this, took it in stride as she held tightly to Gaelowen, smoothing out her hair and remaining quiet. After Gaelowen had calmed enough Cassandra says, “You know, I suspected we were similar in our sorrows. Anger and stoicness are easy and less painful to hold on to. They are able to come out fast and defend us from outsiders who we cannot let see the pain. But sometimes it is better to let the pain be released than hold it inside.” Cassandra pulled back from the embrace and held Gaelowen’s shoulders as she looked her in the eyes. “Because it will eventually eat away at us. And there is nothing capable of bringing back the parts it ate away.”

Gaelowen nodded and gave Cassandra a small smile. “Thank you, Cassandra,” she paused and looked at their positions kneeled in front of each other before saying, “Can you even believe we hated one another before coming to Skyhold?”

Cassandra chuckled lightly. “Yes, I can. And I will always insist it is because you and I are too similar, despite any protests you might have.”

Gaelowen’s smile grows. “I have a reputation to uphold as the Inquisitions heretical mage leader. I can’t let people think I have things in common with a woman up for Divine election,” she joked.

“I will once again remind you that I was the first to rebel directly against the Chantry’s wishes. All you had to do was walk in at the worst possible time and grab an orb, _Herald._ ”

Gaelowen’s smile fades a bit as she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “Thank you, Cassandra. I don’t know what to say.”

“You do not need to say anything. I will deal with Leliana and Josephine on your behalf and tell them you shall be taking a few days of rest. And you will take those days of rest as you need them, Inquisitor.”

  
Gaelowen nodded as she stood from the cramped position. She walked Cassandra over to the stairs leading down to the exit before saying, “The Dalish plant a tree during our funerals over the dead. Would you help me plant one in Skyhold’s garden for my clan?”

  
Cassandra stared at Gaelowen, shocked for a moment, then smiling gently says, “I would be honored, my friend. We can discuss details perhaps tomorrow if you wish. For now, please rest.”

  
Gaelowen smiled at Cassandra and watched as she walked out of her room, leaving her alone with her thoughts. She turned and crawled into bed curling under her blanket, feeling heavy with her sorrow, but somehow, lighter than she had since she began her journey as Inquisitor.


End file.
